I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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