Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dick very happy bro
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
