my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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