Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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