dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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