similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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