I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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