I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
