Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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