is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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