you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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