Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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