After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
