if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just high enough for therapy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
