I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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