we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
