I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
