Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
