best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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