How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think my moral compass just broke
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
