I'm laying in your front yard are you home
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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