so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize