Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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