Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
