sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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