the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
