I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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