I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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