my mouth tastes like poor choices
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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