My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
