Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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