I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
