Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize