It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
