I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize