I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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