I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
