My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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