He uses pillows to masturbate.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
