i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You are the jesus of drinking
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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