So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
