only if we run a train.
done.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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