I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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