Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
