how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
