You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
