oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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