i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
