Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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