ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just want to make out with him forever
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize