ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
