i would punch a child for taco bell
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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