Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
third nipple confirmed
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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