look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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