I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize