I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
