im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
