Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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