If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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