By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
